How to Be More Attractive to My Wife (22 Easy Ways)

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It happens—relationships lose their spark.

If you’re asking “How to be more attractive to my wife?” then read on, because we’re offering critical advice on how to become the partner she can’t resist—and what makes her stop wanting you.

When your wife is no longer as attracted to you, you must:

  • Find and speak her love language
  • Be a better, more empathetic and responsible partner to her
  • Learn what she finds attractive
  • Put effort into your appearance
  • Spend time together and make her laugh
  • Let her see the passionate side of your personality

If you’re on the track to a loveless, passionless marriage, start changing your wife’s perception of you with the simple psychological hacks in marriage coach Dr. Lee Baucom’s best-selling program, Save The Marriage.

Click the link above now, or keep reading to get crucial tips on reigniting your wife’s passion for you.

How to Be More Attractive to My Wife

To be more sexually attractive to your wife takes a little bit of effort, and a little common sense.

Don’t stress putting everything on this list into action and let it overwhelm you.

Rather, let it guide your everyday interactions.

That way, you can find opportunities to put them into practice naturally and over time, regain your wife’s passion for you.

Read Next: What Does It Mean When Your Wife Doesn’t Show Affection?

Show Appreciation

How often do you show your wife you appreciate her?

Express gratitude for what she does for you and the qualities you admire about her.

On the other side of the coin, if you don’t show you appreciate your wife, she will likely feel unseen and as a result, want you less.

Give Meaningful Compliments

Every woman wants to feel special.

Praise her accomplishments and personality traits that you love.

Whatever your favorite body parts of hers are, make sure she knows it, and how much they excite you.

Attraction can grow stronger when someone feels wanted, flattered, and desired.

Learn Your Partner’s Love Language

Do you know what makes your wife feel loved and appreciated?

Is it gifts? Words of affirmation? Acts of service and kindness?

Whatever your wife’s love language is, be sure to speak it and do the things that communicate your affection for her if you want her to reciprocate and find you more appealing.

Listen Actively

When you go on a first date with someone, you don’t ignore them and look at your phone when they tell you about themselves over a candlelit dinner.

Don’t do that to your wife now.

Give her your full attention when she talks, and ask thoughtful follow-up questions.

She will blossom under the right kind of attention.

Be Positive

Do you normally have a sour or negative outlook?

If so, you could be killing the vibe for your wife, so make sure you’re keeping the mood light, upbeat, and positive when you want her to find you attractive.

Put More Effort Into Dressing Well

Dressing neatly and taking care of your appearance shows her that you value yourself and your relationship.

Don’t let this slip.

Surprise Her

Plan an unexpected date night or get her a small, thoughtful gift.

Send flowers to her office.

Doing anything out of the ordinary can be incredibly intriguing to her and make her think about you—and what else she’s been missing.

Get Stuff Done

Lazy? Couch Potato? Video game addict?

A wife is sure to get tired of that.

So get motivated and finish the deck that you said you’d redo months ago.

Take your wife’s to do list and knock things off of it.

Keep your living space tidy to create a peaceful and inviting atmosphere.

These actions will make you seem like her knight in shining armor, and besides, responsibility is sexy in a man.

Take Initiative

Show your commitment by taking charge of tasks without waiting for her prompting.

Don’t ask her what she needs done—if you see dirty dishes in the sink, do them. 

If you know there’s a mountain of laundry waiting to be folded, do it and put it away.

Share the burden of chores to make her feel appreciated and valued.

It’s the small stuff like this that really fuels a woman’s fire.

Plan Romantic Gestures

Many women feel neglected in the romance department in their marriages.

From handwritten love notes to candlelit dinners, make sure to keep the romance alive in your relationship.

Each and every day.

Find Out What She Thinks Is Attractive

Don’t know what your wife likes? Ask her.

If you’re too shy to ask her straight out, watch a romantic movie together and ask her what she finds attractive about the male lead, with no judgments.

Does she like scruffy facial hair? Long hair, or short haircuts? Cologne?

Just by asking your wife, you might be creating an exciting moment for her where she can freely express her desires.

Be Supportive

An unsupported wife will feel emotionally distant from her husband, and therefore not attracted to him.

So offer emotional support and encouragement to your wife. 

Be her rock, and she will open up to you more.

You can find out how to offer your wife the kind of support she needs in your marriage in Dr. Lee Baucom’s Save The Marriage.

Cultivate Shared Interests

Now is the time to create hobbies you enjoy doing together.

Spend time doing fun things, and take some pressure off of your wife by goofing off together.

This can create lasting memories and increase bonding hormones between you that can foster love and attraction.

Be Confident

Your confidence level can subtly affect your wife’s attraction to you.

Present yourself with self-assurance and certainty, without being cocky.

Self-confidence can be so powerful an aphrodisiac that it can make up for physical flaws and other things that a man might not have on his side in terms of attractiveness.

Nurture Your Passions

It’s incredibly attractive for a woman to watch her husband doing what he’s passionate about.

Let her see you get excited about projects and put your knowledge and talents to work.

A man of passion and intrigue inspires lust in women.

Let Her Catch You in Unscripted Moments

Have you ever caught your wife eyeing you romantically while you’re singing along to your favorite song and cooking dinner?

Moments when you come alive, being the best version of yourself and enjoying the moment, show your wife a side of you that she might not get to see that often.

It can also remind her why she fell in love with you, bringing back feelings of passion.

Laugh Together

Humor can release tension and build a good report between you.

So, make your wife smile often. 

Tell her a joke, share funny anecdotes from your day, and send her some good memes at work.

When you laugh together and share a sense of humor, you feel closer to each other, and thus more attracted.

Respect Her 

Don’t railroad your wife in a conversation or treat her like her opinions don’t matter.

Make sure to validate her feelings, thoughts, and ideas, even if they differ from yours if you want her to be attracted to you.

Treat her with respect in your everyday interactions and you may see an increase in her responsiveness to you.

Be Patient

Understand that everyone has off days and be patient when things don’t go smoothly.

Pressure never makes anyone feel sexier or more attracted.

Express Your Love

If you’re tight-lipped about your feelings, this may have a negative impact on your wife’s affection.

So be sure to remind her of your feelings through affectionate gestures and verbal affirmations.

Practice Good Communication

Discuss your feelings, goals, and concerns openly and honestly.

This fosters trust and understanding, and opens your wife’s heart and emotions to you.

By working on your connection, you ensure that you set the groundwork for your wife to be able to feel attracted to you.

Read Also: What Causes Lack of Communication in Marriage?

Support Her

What does your wife dream about?

Be willing to lend a hand with her personal projects or support her career ambitions.

Help her find the spark of passion for herself and carve out time for her to pursue what makes her feel accomplished and fulfilled, and you will more likely see a return in terms of her enthusiasm, respect, and attraction to you.

Stay Loyal

Demonstrate your commitment to her by remaining faithful and trustworthy in your relationship.

You may think she already knows this, but it doesn’t hurt to remind her:

“Hey babe, you know you are the only woman for me, now and forever.”

Hearing this can boost her confidence and let her know she’s put her heart in the right place marrying you.

Unique Date Ideas

Trying new things and creating memorable experiences together can definitely help you become more attractive to your wife. 

Here are some unique date ideas that can bring excitement and romance back into your relationship.

  1. Fly a kite together: Flying a kite is a lighthearted activity that’s sure to bring out the childlike joy in both of you. Plus, it offers a chance to hold hands as you guide your kite through the sky.
  2. Stay in a bed and breakfast: Escape the routine by spending a night or weekend at a cozy bed and breakfast. Choose a location with beautiful scenery or interesting attractions nearby so you can spend the day exploring together.
  3. Try a new dance class: Learn how to tango, salsa or swing dance together by joining a class. Dancing is a fantastic way to get closer physically and emotionally while trying something new and exciting. And it’s a great way to stay fit and healthy together.
  4. Create a photo album: Spend an evening at home curating a photo album of your most cherished moments as a couple. This activity allows you to reminisce about your relationship while strengthening your bond by reliving beautiful memories.
  5. Cook a gourmet meal together: Challenge yourselves by attempting a new, intricate recipe together. Turn on some music, have a glass of wine, and enjoy the process of working together to create a delicious meal. Finally, savor your culinary masterpiece by candlelight.
  6. Go stargazing: Venturing outdoors under a clear night sky can be a truly magical experience. Pack a blanket, some snacks, and your favorite beverages. Then, find the perfect spot to gaze at the stars together, and share your thoughts, dreams, and wishes.

What Factors Make a Wife Less Attracted to Her Husband?

Many men don’t realize that they’re chipping away at their wives’ attraction to them with little, everyday actions and subtle factors.

So not only is it a complete mystery to them why their wives don’t find them attractive anymore, but they also have no idea how to change that.

Now, let’s talk about reasons women lose attraction to their husbands, so you’re not blindsided by it.


  • Ignoring your wife’s needs: Unmet needs is a driving factor in a woman’s loss of attraction to her partner. An immature spouse who doesn’t care to find out or give her what she needs will lose desirability in her eyes.
  • Not sharing responsibilities: Expecting your wife to do all the chores and not taking responsibility for household tasks can make her lose respect and attraction for you.
  • Financial irresponsibility: Being reckless with money or not contributing equally to the household finances can tarnish the trust in your relationship, making your wife less attracted to you.
  • No personal growth: If you’re not working on improving yourself or looking for new goals, your wife may lose respect and attraction.

Relationship Issues

  • Lack of communication: If you’re not openly communicating with your wife, it may lead to misunderstandings and feelings of disconnection, creating a barrier in your relationship.
  • Cheating or infidelity: Being unfaithful creates emotional wounds and may irreparably damage the attraction between partners.
  • Frequent arguments or fights: Constant conflict in a relationship can make your wife feel emotionally exhausted, which can impact attraction levels. If you fight all the time, take a look at the other aspects of your relationship and see what’s driving a wedge between you, because that will kill her attraction.

Personal Appearance

  • Poor hygiene: Taking care of your appearance and practicing good hygiene shows that you respect yourself and your partner. Neglecting this aspect can be a turn-off for your wife.
  • Letting yourself go: It’s a bit cliche, but it’s true that completely neglecting your appearance over time can signal to your spouse that you don’t care about them as much anymore and you don’t want to put in the effort.


  • Disrespectful behavior: Treating your wife poorly or disrespecting her thoughts and feelings can make her less attracted to you.
  • Self-centeredness: A lack of empathy or being preoccupied with your own needs can make it difficult for your wife to connect with you.
  • Jealousy and possessiveness: Excessive control or jealousy can smother your partner and harm the bond between you, reducing attraction.

Emotional Disconnection

  • Emotional unavailability: If you’re not emotionally present and supportive, it can lead to your wife feeling alone in the relationship, decreasing her attraction to you.
  • Constant criticism: Continuously pointing out your wife’s flaws or pointing blame can result in her feeling unappreciated, which affects the level of attraction.
  • Comparing her to other women: Making your wife feel inadequate next to other women by comparing her body, mind, or personality to theirs is a big no-no. Seriously, not even to joke about.
  • Lack of affection: Demonstrating love and care through physical touch and gestures is crucial in maintaining attraction. If affection is missing, it may lessen the emotional bond.

Lack of Relatability

  • No shared interests: Failing to maintain common hobbies or activities can make it harder to enjoy each other’s company, affecting attraction levels.
  • Lack of shared goals and future plans: A shared vision is important for a strong connection. Without it, partners can drift apart, causing a decrease in attraction.


How do I make my wife feel desired?

Gush about the qualities you admire about her.

Tell her how attractive you find her wearing your shirt.

Also, paying attention to her needs and emotions can truly make your wife feel desired. 

Listen to her thoughts and feelings, and engage in meaningful conversations. 

Small gestures, like holding hands and surprise hugs, can also express your desire for her.

How can I make my wife smile?

Making your wife smile can be achieved with simple gestures:

  • Surprise her with a thoughtful gift or note.
  • Share a funny story or joke.
  • Offer genuine, heartfelt compliments.
  • Help with household chores without being asked.
  • Plan a special date night or weekend getaway.

What makes a wife happy?

A happy wife typically feels loved, cherished, and heard. 

Here are a few ways to contribute to her happiness:

  • Provide emotional support by genuinely understanding her feelings and concerns.
  • Show appreciation for her efforts in the relationship.
  • Maintain open communication to nurture trust and resolve conflicts.
  • Encourage her hobbies and interests and engage in activities together.
  • Surprise her occasionally with thoughtful gestures or romantic plans.

Remember, a happy wife is likely to result in a happier relationship. 

By focusing on making your wife feel heard, loved, and valued, you’ll be well on your way to cultivating a strong, healthy, and fulfilling partnership.

If you want to know how to get your wife’s attention and affection back in your life, learn how to speak to her and treat her the way she deserves to be treated with the techniques in Dr. Lee Baucom’s Save The Marriage Program.

Find out about Save The Marriage here.

Marlene Davis is an experienced blogger with a focus on interpersonal relationships. Her dream is to help improve people's lives and relationships through sharing of practical knowledge and evidence-based practices.