Do you want to know if anything will change your wife’s mind about getting divorced?
You’re in the right place.
In this guide, you’ll learn what motivates a woman to change her mind about divorce, signs your wife will reconsider divorce and what you should do if you want to stay married.
Here’s a summary:
- Your wife may choose not to go through with divorce for reasons that are personal, financial, family related, or—because she sees positive changes in you.
- You’ll start to see shifts in her attitude, body language and communication, and she’ll want to spend more time around you
- If your wife shows signs of changing her mind, don’t jump the gun! Allow her to feel she has control of the situation, but mirror her positive behaviors you want to reinforce.
- Work on yourself—in short, become the man she wants to be married to.
But what if your wife is not showing any signs of changing her mind?
In that case, you can use the power of psychology to shift the dynamics between you—even if you’re the only one who wants to—with Dr. Lee Baucom’s Save The Marriage program.
Click the link above now to check it out, or find out whether your wife is likely to change her mind about divorce below.
Table of Contents
Will Your Wife Reconsider Divorce?
In short, the answer is maybe.
No matter how final things may seem, it’s always possible to change her mind about divorce.
But you will probably not have a hard yes or no answer.
However, there’s power in the knowledge that marriage is a two-way street.
Basically, how you act during divorce discussions and proceedings matters in the ultimate choice your wife makes.
On the other hand, there are incentives wives may have to change their minds that their husbands simply don’t see.
These may be financial, emotional or psychological.
Below is a list of reasons why wives change their minds, even if it doesn’t seem likely.
Read Next: Signs Wife Is Changing Mind About Divorce
Reasons Why Wives Change Their Minds About Divorce
Divorce is too costly
An unromantic, but relevant reason a woman might call off divorce is if, plain and simple, she can’t afford it.
Hiring professional lawyers is not cheap, and dividing up assets is, quite frankly, a pain.
Whether she’s a stay-at-home mom, she’s not the main breadwinner or she’d rather stay together than go bankrupt over a divorce, it can come down to what’s the most prudent (and affordable) decision for her (and the kids).
The kids will likely suffer
If you have kids together, they can be a big motivator for your wife to decide to stay.
Often, women are torn between deciding what’s best for themselves, and what’s best for their families.
In the end, your wife may determine that divorcing will have too great a negative impact on your children’s emotional health, school life or general wellbeing.
Your wife is sentimental about the good times
Deciding to get divorced brings up some deep emotional baggage.
Even if your wife has gone cold toward you, she may still experience surprising surges of emotion.
If she can’t stop thinking about when you were happy together, she may believe it’s worth turning back the clock.
She’s afraid of actually losing you
Talk is one thing—actually signing on the dotted line is another.
Sometimes, the finality of it makes a wife want one last chance at making it work.
She feels partly responsible for the downfall of your marriage
If you’ve spent time apart, your wife may have had time to think about her own role in your marriage.
She may question what went wrong and how she might be able to fix it.
This is especially true if deep in her heart, she never really wanted the divorce.
She sees you changing for the better
What many women are waiting for is to see things actually change.
What was it your wife decided she couldn’t tolerate anymore?
Maybe it was an anger problem you had, or poor communication—but now you’ve gone to therapy.
What matters is that you’ve shown you’re a different man.
In the end, it can make all the difference in making her believe your marriage can work.
Something big happened in her life
There are times when outside events can intervene in your wife’s divorce plans.
Maybe it’s a health scare, a parent’s illness or a big career change.
Sometimes these incidents are reminders that life is too short for grudges—and nothing is more important than family.
Signs Your Wife Is Changing Her Mind About Divorce
Now that you know what might make your wife change her mind about getting divorced, you can look for the signs that she’s opening up to the idea of staying together.
It’s important to be aware and receptive of the subtle signals she gives you.
Check the list below to determine whether your wife might be showing you that she’s rethinking divorce.
1. Your wife checks in with you
Women will not show interest in you or your life if they just want a divorce.
In short, they don’t feel it’s their “job” anymore.
On the other hand, if your wife begins to ask you how your day went and is acting interested, it’s likely coming from a genuine, loving place.
If you’re expecting a declaration of your wife’s change of heart, you’re looking in the wrong direction.
Rather, it’s little things that convey how your wife feels.
Read between the lines when your wife texts to ask if you’ll be home for dinner.
Showing concern for you is a small, but powerful way for her to get back into a rhythm with you and feel like things are “normal” between you.
2. She communicates more
Some of the first signs your wife is reconsidering divorce are how much and how often she communicates with you.
A completely disinterested wife who’s bent on divorce will avoid talking to you directly as much as possible.
But if she’s starting conversations with you, sharing opinions and letting you in on what’s happening in her life?
Those are huge signs she’s trying to create more emotional intimacy.
You’ll also notice that communication is smoother and less likely to devolve into fights.
This is because, as Dr. Lee Baucom explains in Save The Marriage, communication is affected by the perceptions you and your spouse have of each other.
Basically, if your wife has a bad perception of you, communication will suffer.
But if her perception of you isn’t clouded by negative judgments, the result is good communication between you.
The bottom line is this: if you’re having better conversations, she’s seeing you in a better light—which can shift the divorce decision.
3. Her body language becomes more open and relaxed
A huge amount of the communicating your wife does is nonverbal.
Some things are too hard to say out loud, and are “safer” to express in more subtle ways.
Body language accomplishes this well—like holding your gaze and leaning in closer to show that she’s missing you.
Unconsciously, your wife’s body language expressions will become more relaxed.
As in, she’s not sitting across the room from you, arms folded and her head pointed away from you.
If she’s facing you often and her facial features are softened, she’s feeling as open toward you as she looks.
4. Your wife stops talking about the divorce process
Have you noticed that the divorce context is suddenly absent from your conversations?
If she’s stopped bringing up divorce, lawyers and how to settle divorce related concerns, she may be trying to set it aside and focus on your relationship.
Maybe she thinks things are going well right now and she doesn’t want to rock the boat.
Of course, it’s always possible that she’s made up her mind and talking about it won’t change anything for her.
But if you’ve noticed a sudden change from her being very vocal about divorce to not mentioning it at all?
It could be a signal that she’s changing her mind, but she’s not ready to talk about it yet.
5. Your wife invites you to spend time with her
As your wife begins to change her mind about divorce, she’ll wonder what it would be like to spend more time together.
Maybe she feels you’ve reached a point where you can enjoy hanging out together, without being at each other’s throats.
Whatever the case may be, if she’s spending time with you, she may be testing the waters.
Don’t jump the gun on this, though.
You want to be sure that she’s specifically asking you to spend time with her, and not for the sake of your kids.
If she’s denying one-on-one time with you, then you know she’s not really interested in spending time with you.
But if she’s inviting you to sit at the breakfast table having coffee, take that as progress.
6. She postpones the divorce
Spouses postpone divorce when they’re not sure it’s the right decision.
Your wife may still believe she wants a divorce, but there’s something holding her back from continuing down that path.
It could be one of the reasons we mentioned before, like seeing you improve yourself or finding that it’s not as easy to get divorced as she had hoped.
But delaying the process or dragging her feet demonstrates that there’s a possibility she may be considering an alternative.
7. She wants to see a family therapist
Has your wife mentioned wanting to fix things?
If she said she’s interested in going to a family therapist, she’s serious about resolving the problems in your relationship.
Even if she hasn’t mentioned a therapist but still wants to work on things, that’s a good sign that she’s moving toward a middle ground.
As long as your wife sees the potential for change, she’s more likely to believe your marriage can be saved and decide to stay.
8. Her tone is softer with you
When your wife speaks to you, have you noticed a difference in the way she sounds?
Maybe there’s been a return of a certain gentleness that she used to have for you.
The way your wife talks to you is often more telling than the actual words she says.
You probably know this from when she says she’s “fine,” but you know she’s not really fine.
Simply asking you to pick the kids up from school in a softer tone shows that she’s feeling more connected and vulnerable with you.
Which can be a subtle, but strong sign that she’s changing her view of you and could be open to changing her mind about divorce.
9. She initiates physical contact
This is one of the best signs that your wife is not only rethinking divorce, but she’s also still emotionally invested in you and your marriage.
It takes a lot for a woman to initiate touch and physical intimacy of any kind.
A simple hug is too much to bear if your wife doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
So body language like holding hands, cuddling and affectionate behavior are ways of communicating that she’s thinking of giving it another go as husband and wife.
Even small gestures of physical touch can speak volumes.
10. She shows appreciation for you
Does your wife seem like she’s praising you out of nowhere?
If she’s showing appreciation for you, she may have been reminiscing recently about the good times.
Maybe you’ve noticed that she’s accepting rather than rejecting the things you try to do for her.
If so, that’s a sign you shouldn’t overlook.
Your wife will consider anything you do for her or any gifts from you as an extension of you.
So if she’s not chucking the flowers you got her or turning down your offers to help out with grocery shopping, it’s an indication that the door is still open, if only just a little bit.
What’s the Best Thing to Do If Your Wife Is Reconsidering Divorce?
If you’ve seen signs that your wife might not want to go through with the divorce, you need to be prepared with the right response.
Naturally, every situation is different, because every woman is different—so use your best judgment based on your wife’s personality and how you think she might respond.
But use the following tips as a guide for how you want to react—and avoid overreacting—so that you keep encouraging her and don’t push her in the wrong direction.
Don’t suggest pulling the plug on divorce—let your wife decide
As tempting as it may be to suggest halting the divorce, don’t be the first to do it.
Any resistance is liable to backfire and make her think that you’re selfishly interested in keeping her in the marriage.
At this point, persuasion can’t be outright.
Even if things are going really well, proceed as though there has been no change in the ultimate plan.
That way, as you get closer to Divorce Day, your wife will be saddened by the idea of losing the good things about your relationship.
She’ll have no choice but to confront her conflicted feelings.
Ultimately, you need to let your wife decide what she wants to do.
Only when she perceives she has control will she feel it’s okay to change her mind.
Mirror her and be receptive
If your wife has been reaching out to you and making attempts at a connection, you definitely want to foster that behavior.
A relationship is a two-way street, so you’ll want to mirror her positive behaviors and return the energy that she’s putting out there.
But the key is to mirror—not initiate.
For example, you should not initiate physical contact if your wife hasn’t done so first.
This is critical, because making an unwelcome move has the potential to close her off and really set you back.
Be as conversational, friendly and open as she is, and show that you’re genuine about wanting to interact with her.
You’re neither playing hard to get, nor throwing yourself at her.
It’s a fine line, but the basic idea is to let her lead and follow her signals.
Spend time enjoying each other’s company
When your wife is indicating that she’d like to be around you more, make sure the time you spend together is more lighthearted than heavy and emotional.
Emotions are tricky. If you hit the gas too hard, an evening can do a 180 and turn into an outpouring of negative emotion and anxiety.
When partners spend quality fun time together, they feel closer and more excited to see each other.
Go easy at first.
Just relax and have a good time together, and take the emphasis off of being husband and wife.
And definitely don’t expect anything sexual.
Your wife wants a healthy sex life just like anyone else, but that kind of intimacy when she still hasn’t made up her mind about divorce feels, at best, irresponsible to her.
Now is the time to entice your wife like in the beginning stages of dating, which is more likely to re-spark romantic feelings.
Tackle family issues together
If your wife seems receptive to the idea, it’s wise to involve the help of a family therapist.
Since straight up suggesting that you both go to a counselor might not sway her, you can broach the subject by talking about going yourself.
And you most certainly can—but at some point, you’ll need to work on any issues that troubled your relationship if you want to stay married.
If your wife has been waiting for you to take such an initiative, she’ll be impressed and heartened when you make the suggestion.
Actions speak louder than words, and committing to creating a healthy dynamic together is a huge step in the right direction.
Focus on yourself
If all else fails, the only thing you can really do is take the energy you’re expending on your wife and turn it inward.
Practice self-love and work on yourself.
Do it for yourself—not because you expect your wife to come running back.
This is important as it will help you end up in a better place mentally and emotionally if your wife decides to pursue the divorce.
But if there is a chance your wife is on the cusp of changing her mind about divorce, seeing the improvements you’ve made in your life can be what she needs to make the call.
Only a genuine desire to be a better person will entice her.
She’ll see it more as entering a fresh, new relationship than simply going back to a marriage that was not working.
And in any case, showing your wife your best self is more attractive to her than if you’ve simply given up.
Do wives ever come back after divorce?
Not very often.
Research estimates that about 6% of divorced couples remarry.
The numbers may be low, but the good news is that commitment can be stronger the second time around.
Wives who divorce their husbands may still have love for them and not really want to get divorced if there are any other options.
Which is why it’s so important to make sure that if you don’t want to lose your wife to divorce, you make the appropriate effort and take thoughtful action before the divorce is complete.
Can I stop my wife from divorcing me?
You cannot stop your wife from wanting to divorce you.
You can make divorce proceedings difficult, but often this lack of cooperation just leads to anger and a reinvigorated commitment on her part to end the marriage.
As the saying goes, you catch more flies with honey.
And while you can’t sweet-talk your wife into staying with you, obstructing her path is an unrealistic (and, let’s face it, desperate) move.
She should always see you in a good light, which also means wanting her happiness.
As hard as it is, that may ultimately mean getting divorced—but if you have any chance at all, you never want to be the bad guy in her eyes.
You want to be the only guy she can see a future with.
Can you change your mind during divorce?
You can always change your mind about divorce at any time during the divorce process.
If you’re worried that you’ve come too far to turn back now, think about how you will feel when the divorce is final and it really is too late to stop it.
If that image hurts you or gives you pause, it’s time to reconsider the divorce.
Ask yourself what the best outcome would be for you, and work toward that if you can with your spouse.
If you want to start turning the tide of divorce now, you may be a candidate for Dr. Lee Baucom’s program Save The Marriage.
It’s designed to allow you to make the necessary changes to save your marriage, whether your not your wife decides to help.
If you think this program might be what you need, check out Save The Marriage here.