Is it driving you crazy trying to figure out if your husband has really stopped cheating on you?
If you want to know how you can trust him again, keep reading—we’re diving into the most important signs that mean your husband has ended the affair.
Here’s a summary of the key signs:
- He’s more open, honest, loving and communicative
- He validates you and shows remorse
- He has no more contact with the affair partner
- He’s not weird around his phone or devices
- His schedule is predictable, and you can otherwise reach him when he’s gone
- He’s working on the relationship issues that led to the cheating
- He does what it takes to get your trust back no matter what
If your relationship is on the brink of destruction, you can save it with powerful psychological tools like marriage therapists use.
Start right now with relationship coach and long-time marriage therapist Dr. Lee Baucom’s Save The Marriage Program.
Click the link above to restore the “we” in your relationship, or keep reading to find out whether you can trust your husband has stopped cheating on you.
Table of Contents
How to Know If Your Husband Stopped Cheating
1. He’s willing to talk about what happened
It’s always a good sign when your husband is open and honest with you.
If he’s willing to discuss the issue and answer your questions without seeming cagey or refusing to talk about certain aspects of it, it’s a good sign you can trust him again.
It may hurt him to talk about his transgressions.
But as we all know, a crucial aspect of rebuilding trust is communication.
You should be able to ask your husband any question about his past infidelity and expect an honest answer.
2. He validates your feelings
Pay attention to how your husband listens and responds to your feelings.
A husband who truly wishes to make amends will actively demonstrate empathy and understanding, acknowledging the pain his actions caused you.
When discussing the issue, he should be patient and respectful, giving you the space to express your emotions without interruption or dismissal.
For example, if you share your anxiety about his late-night work shifts, a husband who is no longer cheating will respond empathetically instead of defensively.
He might say, “I can see how my late hours might make you feel uneasy. I will try my best to keep you informed. How about I call, or you call me?”
This kind of response shows that he values your feelings and is committed to making your relationship stronger.
3. He’s cut off contact with the affair partner
A baseline of trustworthiness would include your husband stopping talking to the person he cheated on you with.
Make sure he’s deleted her phone number and severed all connections on social media, email and any other online or in-person areas.
This could get tricky if he works with her—in this case, he may have to take extra steps for a period of time to prove that he’s not using lunch breaks to cheat with her by FaceTiming you or having his office moved to another location away from her.
Beyond verbal confirmation from your husband, you can also look for tangible proof of no contact.
This may include seeing that the affair partner’s contact information has been blocked and deleted and monitoring your husband’s phone or social media usage (from a respectful, non-intrusive distance).
4. There are no weird phone behaviors
That is, he’s not having long texting matches with some mystery person or “coworker,” he’s not disappearing with his phone to his car or to the bathroom for long period of time, and he’s not sleeping with his phone under his pillow at night.
Perhaps he leaves his phone around where you can see it at all times, unlocked and easily accessible.
If he used to guard his phone closely or seemed anxious whenever you were around it, but now he’s carefree with it, it’s a good sign he’s not cheating anymore.
Furthermore, your husband should be willing to discuss any concerns you have regarding his phone or devices without becoming defensive or evasive.
Whereas his phone used to be a gateway to cheating, it’s now just a boring old phone.
5. He gives you his phone freely
Does your husband willingly hand over his phone if you ask?
In addition to being carefree with his phone, if he’s also comfortable letting you scroll through his Instagram, web searches and Amazon list, it’s far less likely that he’s messaging another woman and having an affair.
It shows that he wants to earn back your trust, likely because he’s committed to making your relationship work.
Just recognize that you don’t have the right to invade his privacy if he says “No” or snoop through his phone when he’s not around just because he cheated.
6. He holds himself accountable
When your husband has stopped cheating, he will hold himself accountable for his actions.
At the very least, this means acknowledging and taking responsibility for his past behavior without making excuses.
Hopefully by now, he’s apologized sincerely and expressed remorse for the hurt his cheating caused you.
If he wants to go above and beyond to prove himself worthy of your trust again, he may also be showing that he’s focused on self-improvement.
This can take many forms, such as seeking counseling, reading self-help books or joining support groups to address the underlying issues that led to the cheating.
By working on himself, he demonstrates his commitment to change and his dedication to the relationship.
7. He sticks to appropriate boundaries
At this point, you may have already redrawn your boundaries after discovering your husband’s affair. (If not, you may want to consider doing that.)
And hopefully, he’s staying within those boundaries and not trying to sneak around them.
A husband who has stopped cheating will take care to avoid situations and individuals that could put your relationship at risk.
On top of this, if he reinforces boundaries with coworkers and anyone else who could enable him or lead him down a cheating path again, that’s a reliable sign that he’s not interested in ever cheating on you again.
8. He’s transparent about how he spends his days
Another key sign that he’s not cheating anymore is if he’s becoming more transparent.
This includes being open about his whereabouts, his phone and sharing more about his day-to-day life.
Look at the details he shares about his day.
Does he talk about the people he was with, what they were doing and include details that paint a full picture for you?
A man who’s cheating will probably make efforts to give you as few details as possible.
On the other hand, a man who doesn’t need to cover his tracks will not have to overthink sharing a story with you and will be more forthcoming in general.
9. He acts like he’s in a committed relationship
Obviously, marriage is a huge commitment.
But there are some cases where a cheating spouse who feels unsure about their marriage will stop putting in effort and keep one foot out the door.
If your husband truly wants to heal your relationship after cheating, he will be trying to spend time together.
He’ll initiate date nights and meaningful conversations.
He will try to make plans and set goals that reinforce your future together and give your relationship a direction.
For example, he may talk about vacations or home improvements and actively seek your input on these topics.
If you want to help his efforts along and make sure your relationship can withstand a trauma like cheating, we highly recommend Dr. Lee Baucom’s methods in Save The Marriage.
10. He lets you in on his thoughts and feelings
Perhaps before the cheating incident(s), your husband was more closed-off or showing signs of emotional unavailability.
If he’s turned that around and has started to engage more with you, it’s a sign that he’s feeling more emotionally connected to you, and thus less likely to be cheating.
Even seemingly mundane things he talks about could have a larger meaning for feeling closer to you and wanting to share his world with you.
And if that’s the case, he’s probably not splitting his time and emotions between you and another woman.
11. He makes himself available when he’s out
A man who’s dedicated to repairing your marriage after cheating will find a way to make himself available when he’s not in your sights.
He will take your video calls to show you where he is and what he’s doing.
He will respond to your texts right away or as soon as he can.
If he prioritizes answering your calls and replying to your messages, it sends a strong message that he values your feelings and is making an effort to prove his loyalty.
He should be eager to clear up any misunderstandings and prove that he is where he says he is, doing what he said he’s doing.
12. He’s ashamed of his track record as a cheating spouse
A remorseful husband is one who is unlikely to cheat again.
He will be embarrassed and feel shame for his cheating.
You can tell when he’s sincere about this.
Guilt is a powerful motivator, and while you don’t want it to create depression and anxiety for him, you know he means it when he says he’s sorry.
13. He does what you ask to rebuild trust
Whatever you need to heal and feel secure in your relationship again, your husband is willing to do.
That should be his attitude if he’s stopped cheating.
If you want to do couples therapy, he’s open to it.
If you’ve asked to have regular relationship check-ins where you can ask him questions and talk freely, he makes arrangements in his schedule because it’s important to him.
He doesn’t question whether you need to do these things.
He does them because he knows you need this, and it shows his commitment to you and your marriage.
14. He’s been addressing the reason for the extramarital affair
There was a reason your husband cheated.
And that reason must be addressed if your marriage is to survive.
A humble spouse who is truly dedicated will want to make sure the issues that led to their cheating are repaired.
They will want to understand what happened and what their cheating triggers are.
So not only will your husband be working on the issues in your marriage, he’ll also be taking a look at himself and how he got to that point.
It’s all part of his own healing process as well as rebuilding trust and connection.
15. He’s freely affectionate and loving with you
Showing you love and affection often and without prompting demonstrates that your husband is attempting to connect with you.
A cheating partner may feel less comfortable with PDA and only return affection when he feels forced to.
Meanwhile, a husband who is not cheating will be more likely to initiate affection and seek out hugs, hand-holding and kisses whether you’re at home or out in public.
Affectionate and romantic gestures tend to come from a genuine place and are hard to do when someone’s romantic desire is with someone else.
16. He makes you feel like it’s only you and him again
It’s hard to pinpoint the exact instance you feel you can trust your husband again after he’s cheated.
But there comes a point when you can feel with your heart that your husband is telling the truth.
He wants only you, and there’s no one else.
Certainly, you will notice that he’s prioritizing you and your time together, and actively working to reestablish your emotional connection.
But if he’s genuinely past the infidelity and focused on loving you, that will come through in an honest way.
Signs He’s Still Cheating
If you suspect your husband is still cheating, or you’re just not sure, there are certain telltale signs an unfaithful spouse will show.
Here are signs your husband is still cheating:
- He won’t admit to what he did wrong
- You frequently can’t get a hold of him
- He hasn’t deleted her contact information/he won’t stop talking to her
- He has one foot out the door or is wishy-washy about your relationship
- He’s not willing to work on your relationship issues
- He’s always “busy,” you’re not part of his social life and you don’t know much about it
- He isn’t very affectionate or intimate with you
- He resists spontaneous plans (when secretly planning to see the other woman)
- He’s still overly secretive about his phone or computer, hiding messages or consistently deleting his browsing history
- He frequently stays late at the office, takes unexplained trips or cancels plans with you
- He suddenly starts accusing you of cheating (this could be a case of projection)
Affair recovery is a long road.
You need to be able to trust that your husband’s affair is over, and hopefully you’ve recognized signs on this list that could give you some peace of mind.
If your husband is showing true remorse, is going out of his way to be transparent and is working hard to rebuild trust and repair the relationship, those are the key signs he’s learned is lesson and is worthy of trust again.
How do I know my spouse won’t cheat again?
It’s pretty much impossible to know with absolute certainty if your spouse won’t cheat in the future.
However, you should look for signs of commitment to creating a healthy relationship with you, improved communication, keeping their promises and investment in your relationship if you want to have faith in them.
How do you know if your husband is sincere after cheating?
To determine if your husband is sincere after cheating, observe his actions closely.
Is he showing sincere remorse and pain for his selfish actions?
Is he being honest with you regardless of how embarrassing it is for him?
Look for efforts to rebuild trust, openly discussing your feelings and addressing your relationship challenges.
Actions speak louder than words, so if he’s genuine, he’ll put his money where his mouth is and do the work to get your trust back.
How do husbands act after cheating?
The behavior of a husband after cheating can vary.
Some husbands may become more attentive and apologetic out of nowhere.
Others may continue to lie or be distant.
Still others may become rude to you, blame you, criticize you and start fights you don’t understand.
It’s important to be aware of sudden changes in behavior and communication patterns, as it can take you by surprise.
What makes a man lose interest in his wife?
There isn’t a one-size-fits-all answer to this question, as various factors can affect a marriage.
Loss of interest can stem from boredom, lack of emotional connection, resentment, unaddressed personal issues or incompatible expectations.
Open communication and making an effort to understand each other’s needs and desires can help to prevent these issues.
How do you know if a cheater has changed?
Once a cheater, always a cheater?
An unfaithful person can change, and you know it by observing their actions and attitudes.
Look for a genuine desire to make amends, increased accountability for their actions and transparency in communication.
They may also develop more predictable routines and let you into their worlds and minds to a degree they were never willing to before.
Positive changes in these areas can suggest that the person is attempting to modify their behavior and priorities.
If you’re ready to save your relationship now, check out Save The Marriage by relationship expert Dr. Lee Baucom.
Marlene Davis is an experienced blogger with a focus on interpersonal relationships. Her dream is to help improve people's lives and relationships through sharing of practical knowledge and evidence-based practices.